A foot in the door

Well good morning, you internet addicts! Now, I say that as a compliment as there are much worse things one could be addicted to. Cocaine, for instance. Or chocolate. Actually, chocolate is a perfectly wonderful thing to have an addiction to and I'm sure at least 70% of you would agree (the other 30% are simply verging on the brink of insanity).

Anyhow, today I woke up thinking about life. Not in the way you might imagine, all contemplative and foreshadowsome (I'm not sure if that's a word, in which case I have now officially made it so), but rather in a more determined sense. Summer has pretty much settled in, spreading its rays and salty scented breeze for the next few months, and I realized that I have now been out of school for nearly a year. Now, after thirteen years of sitting in class (except for my grade 12 year which was spent running around a kitchen) having such freedom is a bit confusing! Almost scary actually. What am I supposed to do with all of this extra time?

At first, I had a job working in one of the hottest restaurants in town (I mean popular of course) but then the stress gradually built up and up, exploding small parts of my brain bit by bit and after nine months I  gave in my two weeks notice. Not the smartest thing I've ever done, but sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do, to quote a saying I've heard at least three times in the past week.

So I woke up this morning, after not having a steady job for about three months, and asked my pillow WHY? WHY do I need to spend one of the only summers of my life that remains open and free of any work-related commitments looking for a way to ensnare myself in the neverending stream of busy-bodies and stress-filled minds? (Phew that was a long sentance). What was that? You think this is a very good question? As do I.

There's a song that the world of today reminds me of called Slow Me Down, by Emmy Rossum - a fantastic singer who starred in Phantom of the Opera at only 16 years of age. The first line of lyrics goes like this:
"Rushing and racing and running in circles, moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose, blur of the traffic is sending me spinning, I'm going nowhere."
Tell me, how many people do you think can relate to this? Because I know for a fact that I am one of them. The time just seems to speed up with every passing year and the harder we try to hold onto it or tie it down the faster it gets away from us. And before you know it, the once smooth flawless skin is wrinkled, the agile hands are clawed and crippled and the once strong back constantly screams obscenities into our pain-afflicted mind.
Okay I apologize, that was a bit harsh. Aging isn't all that bad, and with age comes knowledge and experience right? Things that can be achieved through nothing less than time.

Anyways, as I was saying, the years we have on this earth are too short to be spent doing anything other than what we love to do. Otherwise we will be very miserable beings indeed.

And THAT is what I was thinking about this morning. As for what I love to do? That's easy, writing is my passion - I hope to be a successful author one day and leave my mark on the world - and I have decided that it would be counterproductive to try to spend my life denying myself the joy of doing the very thing I am meant to do. Wouldn't you think so? But that's not to say having a job to bring in the moola wouldn't be a welcome addition to my life (yes, I am about to confuse you with my contradictory statement) and I would be a fool to not get one for the summer.

The only problem is, finding a job is a lot easier said than done.
Despite that fact, I have complete faith that if I simply stick my foot in life's revolving door and refuse to budge, it will be forced to provide opportunities for me somehow, sometime.
And that is exactly what I intend to do; wedge my foot in that closing door and say "Oy! What about me?" and achieve whatever it is I'm after.

Well there it is, my first post on my first blog as my 18 week old puppy runs in her sleep beside me. However, it is a beautiful cloudless day outside and, peeling sunburn and all, I am going to go out there and enjoy a good dose of vitamin D. 

So I say thanks for reading and see ya next time!



Foot in the door pastel painting by Nancy Poucher.